Category Archives: mental health

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The Connection Between Non-Assertiveness and Depression

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Research has shown a relationship between non-assertiveness and depression. The studies indicated that people whocouple_talking_nicely are generally non-assertive are more likely to get depressed than others who are assertive. Assertiveness has been defined as behavior that enables people to act in their own best interests by expressing their thoughts and feelings directly and honestly.

Lets look at the definitions of non-assertiveness, assertiveness and aggressiveness. When we are non-assertive, we honor the other person’s rights, but don’t honor our own rights. When we’re aggressive, we honor our own rights, while trampling on the other person’s rights. When we’re assertive, we honor our own rights, while also honoring the other person’s rights.

In my counseling, I have seen many people who were experiencing depression that was either caused or worsened by an inability to be assertive. The client had allowed others to treat her badly, and was unable to stand up for herself. Over time, the pain and perceived helplessness of the situation led to clinical depression. Like the old idea of Chinese water torture, the drip, drip, drip of being mistreated, without self-defense took it toll.

There are many reasons that people have difficulty being assertive. We will look at several of them here.

1. There is a fear that the other person will get angry. In most cases, this isn’t a fear of physical violence, but rather, a fear of the anger itself. The non-assertive person may have experienced intense or inappropriate anger from a parental figure during childhood. The child associated danger with the anger. That association is maintained in the adult. Even though the victim will readily admit that they are not afraid of violence from the other person, they experience fear and anxiety, as if violence was a risk.

2. The non-assertive person fears disapproval from the other person. In this case, the focus is on the risk of disappointing the other person. No action is necessary. Just a disappointing look, or an anticipated loss of respect can keep the victim silent.

3. Sometimes the non-assertive person has a fear of “being mean.” This individual fears hurting the other person or inconveniencing them. These are the classic “people pleasers.” They work very hard to be nice, even if it means sacrificing their own needs.

4. The person’s self-esteem may be so low, that he feels he has no right to be assertive. He upholds others rights to defend their needs, but doesn’t feel he has the same rights.

This isn’t a comprehensive list of causes, and you may relate somewhat to them all. Changing from non-assertive behaviors to assertive behaviors can be difficult. It begins with small things. State your opinion in areas where you anticipate less resistance. At first, be assertive with people you feel will be more receptive. Practice the behavior.

You will be uncomfortable at first. You will feel anxiety and may be uncertain about whether you have the right to be assertive in a particular situation. Try this little mind experiment. Imagine a friend or loved one in the exact same situation as you are experiencing. Put them in your shoes. Would they have a right to be assertive if they were in this situation? Would you want them to stand up for themselves? If so, then you should be assertive as well. Practice the behavior you would want your friend to exhibit.

So, what if you are assertive and the other person resists, argues with or ignores your requests? You will have to be “persistently assertive,” meaning that you maintain you position, stating your disagreement calmly but confidently.

Also, don’t be surprised if the other person accuses you of being selfish or mean. When others are accustomed to you being non-assertive, going along, and never disagreeing, they will perceive you as mean or overly negative when you stand your ground. You may just have to push through this hurdle. Over time, they will get used to your assertive moments and actually see it as within your rights.

Learning to be assertive is a gradual process. You begin with the realization that you have the right to be assertive. Then you practice the behavior in less intimidating situations. Gradually, you state your mind in more difficult circumstances. Eventually, you will be able to be assertive without even realizing it.

 

Question: What other reasons come to mind for non-assertive behaviors? Share them here.

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The Impact of Self-Esteem Wounds on Mental Health

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This is the second in my series on the impact of self-esteem wounds. Today we’ll look at the wound’s impact on thedepressed_man_001 individual’s emotional health, mood and general quality of life.

I’ve practiced outpatient psychotherapy for over 32 years and I have seen so many people who were experiencing depression that was fueled by self-esteem wounds (negative beliefs about self and negative self-talk). Now, I want to point out that depression can be caused by multiple factors including chemical imbalances, genetics and physical disorders, and should be evaluated and treated by a professional. The evaluation can begin with your primary care physician, a psychologist, counselor, social worker or psychiatrist.

So, not all cases of depression are caused by self-esteem wounds, but such wounds are often a major contributor. I will first talk to my new client about his symptoms, which can include sad mood, crying spells, decreased energy and motivation, difficulty making decisions, sleep and appetite changes, and sometimes suicidal thinking. I then try to gather information about the factors that may be driving those depressive symptoms.

The client will often share a history of negative experiences in childhood, negative beliefs about herself and hurtful relationships in adulthood. She will often blame herself for negative life events, poor choices and perceived failures. She will interpret events in the most negative way possible. She will often be angry at herself for her perceived faults.

Her negative thinking seems to be a constant companion. She says things to herself that she would never say to another human being. She abuses herself in her mind. She never even notices it, because she has done it so long.

This kind of thinking drains her mood, impacts her choices and steals any pleasure or enjoyment. One client said that her depression took the color out of her life, and that everything seemed to be black and white.

The negative impact of self-esteem wounds isn’t limited to those with clinical depression. Most people, with self-esteem wounds, are functioning quite well. They don’t look depressed. They don’t act depressed. They work beside you, attend your church, and perhaps even live in your house.

Their lives may not be severely limited by such wounds, but they suffer nonetheless. They keep their pain to themselves. You would never guess that their minds are filled with self-critical thoughts and self-doubt, but they are.

Comment:  Knowing the pain of self-esteem wounds and the prevalence of those wounds keeps me motivated to share tools for healing. Help me share this message. Share this post and share a comment on the world’s need for healing of self-esteem wounds.

 

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The Far-Reaching Impact of Self-Esteem Wounds

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When a child experiences neglect, harsh or frequent criticism or abuse, his self-esteem is wounded. Since all childrenperson_in_crowd are egocentric, he will blame himself for his negative treatment. If the child is neglected or ignored, he will conclude that he is not lovable or likeable. If he is overly criticized, he will conclude that he is inadequate or incompetent. If he is abused, he will believe that he is bad, defective or even cursed. Thus, a wound to the self-esteem is inflicted, or what I call a “wound of the heart.”

No child is immune. Any child will respond to such negative experiences with similar conclusions. The difference between the child with low self-esteem and the one with a more healthy self-esteem is a difference in experience, not a difference in the strength or in the abilities of the child.

Further, without some intervention, the self-esteem wound will stay with the person throughout life. A child who believes she is unlovable or unimportant will usually maintain those beliefs in adulthood as well. The child who questions his abilities will doubt himself as an adult as well.

In this four-part series, we will examine the far-reaching impact of self-esteem wounds. We will look at the wound’s impact on (a) personal mental health and quality of life, (b) interpersonal relationships, and (c) educational and career performance.

In some ways, a self-esteem wound is similar to metastasized cancer. Over time, it spreads into all aspects of the victim’s life. The wound alters the person’s functioning and perception of every experience. Over time, it tends to impact everything.

In the next article, we will examine the impact of self-esteem wounds on the individual’s personal mental health and quality of life. We will look at the impact on mood, anxiety, and perception. We will explore the pain created by such wounds.

 

Question: Can you think of any other areas where self-esteem wounds have an impact that I need to cover? Thank you for your comments!

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The Power of Your Thinking

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Young Woman Biting Her Finger NailAs a man thinks in his heart, so is he.
Proverbs 23:7

You talk to yourself all day. All your waking hours, you are thinking in words and sentences. You carry on an internal conversation with yourself. You comment on events, ask yourself questions and then answer them. This is normal. We all do it, but we usually aren’t aware that we’re doing it.

Have you ever stopped to consider the impact of all this internal chatter? You might be surprised at the degree to which your thoughts influence your mood, guide your perceptions and direct your behaviors. We would all do well to pay attention to the content of our thoughts, and consider their influence on our mood and choices. Have negative thought patterns caused you to experience unnecessary pain or make unhealthy choices?

The power of our thinking is magnified by the sheer volume of thoughts that go through our minds each day. Thousands of words, hundreds of phrases, judging thoughts, assuming thoughts, emotionally charged thoughts, all passing unquestioned into our minds and hearts.

A little internal observation will reveal that we all have habitual patterns of thinking. Some of us tend to think optimistic thoughts and some pessimistic thoughts. Some people are kind to themselves in their thoughts and some are very self-critical. Some people tend to be skeptical of others and some trusting in their thoughts.

This week, pay attention to your thoughts. Notice what you are saying to yourself. Particularly, notice any repeated patterns of negative thinking. Also, notice how your thoughts influence your mood and your behaviors. Was a negative or irritable mood preceded by negative thinking? Was a depressed mood preceded by self-critical or pessimistic thoughts? I believe that a little self-examination will reveal a connection between your self-talk and your life experience.
There are many forms of negative thinking can hurt us. In future posts, I will be addressing several specific types of negative thinking and providing tools we can use to change our thinking and improve our lives. For now, just notice the internal conversation as you go through your day. Become aware of your thoughts, your assumptions and your attributions. Awareness is the beginning of change.

Question: What techniques have you found to be helpful in monitoring your self-talk? Can you see a connection between the quality of your daily life experience and the thoughts that are going through your head?

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Comparing Ourselves With Others

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… for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,    Romans 3:23

 

When we experience self-esteem wounds, we tend to feel alone. We assume that other people don’t have the samegirl_looking_in_mirror thoughts, feel the same feelings or experience the same failings. We feel “less than” when we compare ourselves to those around us.

And we do compare. We compare physical appearance; more wrinkles, more weight, less hair. We compare possessions; smaller house, older car, cheaper clothes. We compare our relative successes; less status, less salary, more failures. We compare, even when we try not to compare.

And we find ourselves lacking. Others look like they have it all together. They act happier and more confident. They seem more comfortable in social situations. They don’t look insecure, uncertain or full of self-doubt.

Its’ not surprising that we see others this way. It’s because almost everyone works so hard to act like they have it all together. It deludes us into thinking that they really do. We then are left with the misguided conclusion that our troubles, insecurities, doubts and fears are unique and a testament to our defects and weaknesses. Of course, we then feel forced to work harder to act like we have it all together. We hide our doubts and insecurities so we will look good.

So do they.

To be human is, by definition, to be imperfect. All humans have faults, imperfections, doubts, fears, insecurities and failures. As Paul said, “all have sinned and fail short…”

Comparison with others is a trap. Any comparison with others will mess you up. If you see yourself as superior, you will become vein and prideful. If you see yourself as inferior, you will become ashamed and depressed. Either way you lose.

The truth is we are neither, better or worse. We are the same. We are all in the same boat. We have “all sinned and fall short…” No one is any better than you, and no one is any worse. Recognizing that fact, knowing it in your heart, is strangely comforting.

It is a fact. You are not less than any other human being. The only choice now is whether or not you choose to accept and believe it.

 

Question: Tell us your thoughts on this tendency to compare ourselves with others. Also, please share any techniques you found successful to stop the comparisons.

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The Innocent Victims of Sexual Abuse

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Child abuse comes in many forms and all are damaging, but sexual abuse creates a unique self-esteem wound. sad_girlThrough the years, I’ve treated many victims of sexual abuse and seen first hand the impact of that abuse on their lives.

I have found that there are several, almost universal, reactions for the victim of sexual abuse. These reactions seem to be consistent, regardless of the victim’s age when the abuse occurred, the time span of the abuse (e.g. a single incident or multiple incidents over several years), or the particular circumstances where the abuse occurred. These reactions form the self-esteem wound. Sexual abuse makes the victim conclude that they are bad, damaged or tainted.

Here are the common reactions of the sexual abuse victim:

  1. “There was something about me that made the abuser choose me. I must have done or said something wrong to cause the abuse to occur. I’m bad”.
  2. “Now that I have been abused, I am defective, dirty, and damaged. Others wouldn’t want to spend time with me if they knew what I had done. They wouldn’t like me or love me. I’m bad”.
  3. “I should have been able to stop the abuse or stop it earlier than I did. I should have done something to make it stop. I’m bad”. (Interestingly, this belief is held, even when the victim was five years old or younger and the perpetrator was an adult.) When a person is being sexually abused, the mind often goes into a type of trance state. The victim doesn’t think clearly. Her thinking and decision making is often temporarily impaired. She will ask herself later why she didn’t do some behavior to prevent or stop the abuse, but during the abuse she couldn’t think clearly.
  4. The victim perceives her sexuality differently. She may gravitate toward sex, even when she would rather say no. The victim will often feel that sex is the only thing that anyone would want from her, or that she might as well give in because she is already broken. Because of her increased sexual activity, she concludes, “I’m bad.” On the other hand, the victim may experience anxiety or repulsion in association with sex. She may not enjoy sex or avoid it altogether, even when it occurs in acceptable circumstances.
  5. There is another reaction to sexual abuse that is rarely discussed, yet it can be the greatest contributor to the victim’s feelings of shame and self-blame. This is the fact that abuse victims will sometimes feel sexual arousal during the abuse. The victim reasons that he or she must have wanted it in some way or they wouldn’t have responded, thus “I’m Bad.” Nothing could be further from the truth. The body is like a machine in many ways. When the knee is tapped with a rubber hammer, the foot will jerk. You can’t avoid it. In the same way, when the body is touched in certain ways, an arousal response may occur. You didn’t want it. You couldn’t avoid it. It means nothing, except the fact that you are a human being.

The reality is that a sexual abuse victim is a totally innocent victim. Think of it this way. Imagine that you found out today that your child had been abused in the same way that you were. The exact same acts were done to your child that were done to you. Your child was the same age that you were when it happened. How angry would you be? Would you be angry at your child? Of course not. You would be angry at the perpetrator for hurting your child, but not angry at your child. Would you love your child any less? Of course not. Would you perceive your child as damaged, defective or dirty? Of course not.

You see, you were just as innocent as your child would be. You were no different. You were just as helpless to resist it. You may have felt older or more powerful at the time, but you weren’t. We often perceive ourselves as older than we actually are during childhood.

You would not want your child to feel shame. You shouldn’t feel shame either. If you were sexually abused, it’s time to recognize the truth. It wasn’t your fault. You were a totally innocent victim of the abuse. Realizing this is the first step toward healing.

 

Question: What resources have you found to be helpful in helping yourself or someone else who has experienced abuse?

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You Can Achieve Inner Calm Through Mindfulness Practice

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We live most of our lives mindlessly. We may be doing one thing, but our minds tend to be on other things. We live Mindfulnessin the present moment, but our minds are on the past or the future.

I first learned about the technique of “mindfulness” on a PBS television program, called “Healing and the Mind.” The host was the excellent reporter, Bill Moyers, and each episode featured a clinic somewhere in the world, that specialized in mind/body medicine.

On this particular episode, he featured a clinic at Massachusetts Medical Center, a major teaching hospital where many Harvard medical students do their rotations and internships. People come there from all over the world for assessment and treatment of serious medical disorders.

In that hospital, is a clinic that was originally called “The Center for Catastrophic Illness,” and was founded by a psychologist, named Jon Kabit-Zinn, Ph.D.. Patients are referred to this clinic who have any illness that has proven to be a catastrophe in their lives. The clinic has been enormously effective in helping these patients deal with their various illnesses.

The clinic teaches the technique of mindfulness. The technique has been practiced in Asia for about four thousand years, but has only been applied to healthcare in the US for about twenty years. While mindfulness practice cannot directly cure many physical illnesses, it can help patients deal with their difficulties with much less distress and discomfort. It has even been shown to cure some stress-related illnesses.

The technique involves three components, (a) noticing, (b) without judging, (c) in the present moment. To notice means to truly experience, to really be in the moment. Focus your attention on that event. Experience it with your five senses. If you are somewhere, really be there. Focus your mind on what you are doing, rather than something in the past or the future.

For example, if you are driving, notice the experience of driving. What do you see? What do you feel? Notice the unconscious movement of your hand on the steering wheel. Notice the subtle rumble of the road noise. Do the same with any experience. If you are interacting with a loved one, really focus your attention on that person and the interaction. If you are washing dishes, notice the various aspects of the experience, the feel of the water, the feel of the soap or the movements of your hands.

Now, try to recall some of the favorite moments of your life. Your memories of these moments may be like a series of snapshots. I bet that you experienced each of these favorite moments mindfully. You were focused on what you were doing at the time. If you had experienced the moment mindlessly, you wouldn’t have recalled it as a favorite moment. I wonder how many other moments could have been favorites, if you had experienced them mindfully rather than mindlessly.

The second part of mindfulness is to notice “without judging.” This means to not analyze our experience in our minds, but to just experience it. We don’t focus on whether the experience is good or bad. It just is. You try to experience the moment without the chatter in your head, no internal comments, no judgments, just the experience.

For example, in clinical settings patients are actually taught to be mindful of their pain. This may seem strange, but we find that, when patients notice pain, without thinking of it as good or bad, the pain lessons, or at least becomes less distressful. We usually try to escape from our pain, and in doing so make ourselves more tense. This tension actually worsens the discomfort.

The last part of mindfulness is “in the present moment.” This means to focus your attention on the present moment, rather than experiencing the present moment with your mind thinking about something in the past or something in the future.

Let’s think about time for a moment. All time can be divided into three parts; the past, the future, and the present. Everything prior to this moment in time is the past. Nothing in the past actually exists, except in our memories. Everything after this moment is the future, and nothing in the future actually exists except in our imaginations. The only thing that actually exists at any moment is that thin slice of time we call the present.

Yet, we live most of our present moments thinking about something in the past or something in the future. We don’t really experience the present moment, because we are analyzing, reminiscing or regretting past events or anticipating, dreading or worrying about future events. We thus miss the experience of the present moment.

Take the time now to be mindful of the present moment. Notice what your five senses are experiencing. Notice what you see, the colors, the shapes, the quality of the light. Notice what you hear, both the louder sounds and the subtle sounds. Notice what your skin feels, the temperature of the air, the clothes you are wearing. Notice how your body feels.

In particular, notice your breathing. The act of noticing the breath can always bring you back to the present moment. Your breath is always with you. Let yourself simply be in the present moment now and experiencing this moment fully. If your mind wanders to the past or the future, it’s okay. Just gently bring your attention back to your breath and the present moment.

Practice this for a few moments at a time. If you can stay in the present moment for a few seconds, that’s good enough at first. After being mindful of your present moment experience for a little while, notice what you feel. Most people report that they feel a sense of calm or peace.

Practice mindfulness several times per day. You don’t have to take time out of your day at first. Just be mindful of whatever you’re doing. Then, if you like, take a few moments out of your day to get in a more extended time of present moment awareness. Give it a try!

Question: If you have tried present-moment mindfulness, what did you experience? Also, report any difficulties you experienced in trying the technique.

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Your Do-It-Yourself Guide to Fighting Depression – Part 4

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In the first three articles in this series, I have explored three basic changes you can make to fight depression. These changes were to increase depressed_personphysical, social and pleasurable activity. The behavioral changes are difficult because depression makes its victim want to decrease physical activity, withdraw from others, and avoid previously pleasurable activities.

I used the analogy that depression is like an ugly, mean troll that gets inside the victim’s body and makes him want to do the very things that feed it and make it grow. When a depressed person decreases physical, social and pleasurable activity, his depression worsens.

Today, we will consider the fourth do-it-yourself depression fighter, which is: question your perceptions. Yes, when you are depressed, you cannot trust your perceptions. Depression distorts our perceptions in several areas, and those distortions are fairly predictable.

Depression distorts our perceptions of ourselves, our current circumstances, our past events and our future. We’ll look at each of these in turn.

The most powerful negative perceptual distortion is the victim’s view of himself. The depressed person sees himself as inadequate, unimportant, unlovable and a burden to others. He believes that others would be better off without him. He focuses on his failures and mistakes and dismisses his positive attributes and successes. This distortion of self often contributes to suicidal thinking.

Such thinking is truly a distortion. As I listen to a clinically depressed person describe himself or herself, I am amazed at the differences between the person’s real self and perceived self. These negative perceptions are deep and strongly believed. Nevertheless, they are wrong.

The victim’s perceptions of his current circumstances are usually distorted as well. The depressed person focuses attention on the negative aspects of life, while seeming to totally ignore the positive aspects. He will acknowledge the positives when they are pointed out, but they soon fade from awareness.

Depression also distorts one’s memories. Past mistakes feel more dire and unforgivable. They stand out in the victim’s mind. They are analyzed and replayed over-and-over. Past successes are forgotten or ignored.

Finally, depression creates a painful and hopeless vision of the future. Expectations are negative and pain seems permanent. The future looks bleak.

All of these perceptions are distortions of the truth. The distortions are predictable. So is the impact.

To fight depression, the victim must understand that his perceptions are not real. He must not trust his thinking or his feelings. He must remind himself daily that those perceptions are inaccurate. He must listen to and trust supportive friends and family who assert that his negative perceptions are wrong.

Imagine that you participated in a research study for a new drug. The researchers were very clear that this drug would temporarily distort your perception, but that this distortion would appear very real. You would have to remind yourself constantly that the drug was making you see things that were not real. By not trusting your perceptions, you would be able to function fairly normally. Depression’s distortion of perception is very similar. Depression is a chemical imbalance and this imbalance distorts perception in the same way as the experiential drug.

You can take positive steps to conquer depression by increasing physical, social and pleasurable activities, and by questioning your negative perceptions. Take the first steps today. You’ll feel better for the effort!

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Your Do-It-Yourself Guide to Fighting Depression – Part 3

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This is the third article on do-it-yourself tools to fight depression. In the first two articles we began with the metaphor that depression is like a troll_3mean, parasitic troll that influences you to do the very things that will make him grow. He makes you decrease your physical activity and your social activity because doing so makes you more depressed, thus feeding the troll and making him grow.

The do-it-yourself techniques involve making yourself do the opposite. You make yourself do more physical activity and more social activity. You won’t enjoy it, of course. In fact, you will probably resist it with every once of energy you’ve got. But if you can make yourself do it. If you can get up and move. If you can reconnect with the people who care about you, you will feel better.
In this article, I want to explore a third tactic of the depression troll, as he attempts to grow stronger. He makes you decrease pleasurable activity. He does this in two ways. First, he saps your energy so you don’t feel like doing anything, even something you think you would enjoy. But worse, he takes away any pleasure you experience when you do previously pleasurable activities. Activities you used to enjoy, no longer feel pleasurable. There is a word for this in psychology; anhedonia – the inability to experience pleasure. The depressed person just doesn’t seem to enjoy anything.  Does that sound familiar?
Not surprisingly, the absence of pleasure worsens the depression, thus feeding the troll. So, what are we to do? How can we experience pleasure if the activities we used to enjoy no longer feel pleasurable?
I’m afraid the answer sounds a little like “fake it till you make it.” You have to make yourself do activities that were pleasurable before you became depressed. You identifying activities that you previously enjoyed, and you try to make yourself do them again,
You won’t enjoy them at first. You won’t look forward to them. In fact, you might dread having to do them, but doing them does help you in your fight against depression.
Of course, doing previously pleasurable activities won’t make a noticeable difference at first, but if you persist in doing those activities, you will gradually experience pleasure in them. Then they will serve to fight the depression and starve that mean ole depression troll,
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The Power of an Attitude of Gratitude

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thanksgiving_photoOnce more, scientific research has confirmed something that our parents and grandparents already knew; that counting our blessings will make us happier. In fact, practicing this one habit seems to improve our sense of emotional wellbeing more than any other behavior.

In the mid-1990’s, a branch of psychology began to emerge, called “Positive Psychology”. Rather than focusing on emotional illness or difficulties, this group turned their research toward increasing understanding of the factors that made some people exceptionally positive or mentally healthy.

We’ve all known some individuals who seem to handle life’s difficulties with exceptional grace, and just appear more happy, joyful or satisfied. They clearly experience their share of life’s up’s and down’s, but do with more peace and hope than most. The researchers in Positive Psychology studied such individuals to identify those traits, attitudes or habits they shared that allowed them to do this.

First, let’s look at the factors that did not predict happiness. The researchers found that material wealth or standard of living had very little to do with happiness. While the United States has the highest financial standard of living, we are clearly not the happiest people. Many people who have much less than us report that they are much happier.

The research also found that negative life events did not necessarily lower a person’s level of happiness on a long-term basis. Of course, one’s happiness does go down immediately after experiencing a negative life event, but the research found that the person’s level of happiness usually returns to their pre-event level within two years. This was even true when the negative event was extreme, such as spinal cord injury resulting in permanent paralysis. Interestingly, the same was true for positive life events. Immediately after the event, the person’s level of happiness did go up, but usually returned to their pre-event level within about two years.

The studies did find, however, that exceptionally positive people all share an attitude of gratitude. They report that they pay attention to the blessings in their lives. Most of them consciously and deliberately cultivate this feeling of thanksgiving in each day. Most report that, with practice, the attitude becomes more natural and automatic.

We can all learn to be more grateful. Make the decision to cultivate an attitude of gratitude starting today. Count your blessings. Write them down. Before your feet hit the floor each morning, make yourself think of five things you have to be thankful for. Thank those you love. Thank them for the things they do for you, but more, thank them for loving you and sharing your life. Look for opportunities to be thankful today. You just might find yourself feeling happier!