It seems to be a bit confusing to say that you can improve your self-esteem by practicing humility, but I believe that it is true. I began thinking about this topic after reading Dr. John Dickson’s book titled Humilitas. I heard Dr. Dickson speak at a conference I attended in South Korea last month and followed-up by reading his book. He presents a compelling argument for the benefits of practicing humility in our day-to-day interactions.

Dr. Dickson’s field of expertise is ancient history, and he explores the changes in the perception of humility in different eras and societies. He notes that society didn’t seem to value humility until Christ’s teachings began to spread. Prior to that time, ancient writings were filled with bragging and self-elevation that most of us today would find quite offensive.

True humility is a deliberate choice. The person voluntarily lowers himself or herself and behaves in a modest, gentle or serving manner toward the other person. Consider the act of Jesus washing his disciple’s feet.

This type of humility is very different from the times where one is put down or humiliated by others. The later act wounds the self-esteem. The former is a reflection of a healthy self-esteem. One needs to have a healthy self-esteem to be able to voluntarily humble him or herself.

This is also different from the person with a damaged or wounded self-esteem, who behaves in a self-critical and self-depreciating manner. This person’s behaviors are simply a reflection of their negative beliefs about self. This person sees him or herself as inferior to others or defective and so acts that way.

When you practice deliberate humility, you recognize that you have value, ability or knowledge, but you refrain from flaunting it. You listen earnestly to the other individual, recognizing that you can learn from everyone. You treat the other person with honor, respect and kindness.

I believe that you walk away from such interactions feeling better about yourself, and that your self-esteem grows. It’s not that you walk away proud of your actions. Rather, I believe you lose any sense of yourself, as you serve others.

True humility is learned through deliberate practice or conscious effort. But, the practice fosters an attitude that becomes an unconscious way of living. Try it. I believe your self-esteem or self-worth will benefit from the effort.

Question: Think about someone you know who seems to practice true humility. How do they make you feel when you are around them? Think about times when you have practiced humility by putting another person above yourself. How did it make you feel?